You are on the guest list - Lysanna and Kyson made history when they married in the Chittagong Hill Tracts on Friday 9th May and Saturday 10th May. Wedding celebrations here usually go for a few days and Lysanna and Kyson celebrated in traditional fashion with a few modifications. What makes it history? Well Lysanna is from England and Kyson is from the Tripuran village of Burra Para and, as far as we are aware, their marriage is a first in terms of the union of their cultures.
Lysanna and Kyson have given their permission to have their wedding ‘blogged’ – any embellishments are poetic licence of the author.
Lysanna and Kyson met when she arrived here in Khagrachari as a VSO volunteer three years ago to work with Zabarang (the same organisation I work with). (After her twelve months posting sheshed (finished), she decided to stay and has since then worked with an international NGO). And of course one of the major reasons she decided to stay on was because LUUUV was in the air. There was a level of unrest in this area at the time she arrived and Kyson, who was working as the administration officer at Zabarang, had been assigned as Lysanna’s security support. If you could meet this gentle, fun-luving, super intelligent man who is also a great cook (bonus), you could easily understand how a girl could fall for him. I know you have met Lysanna in my previous blogs, but just to remind you she is also super intelligent, fun-luving, bright and beautiful, and another awesome cook - so a perfect match made in the hills of the Desh.
If you think wedding arrangements are stressful in Aus think about this unique situation. As you can imagine it was not a straightforward process - the formalities, the preparation, and eventually the wedding ceremony were without precedent. With all due respect, this little pocket of our world is appropriately entrenched in tradition when it comes to marriage and there are very few unions between different groups, especially a foreign woman and an indigenous man. While most responses from their friends and community members were happy, happy, joy, joy, there were also a few frowns of confusion. Nevertheless, their commitment and ‘true to their hearts’ perseverance helped them overcome the hurdles and the wedding was a sensationally happy occasion (as you can see from the piccies).
When I actually arrived in Khagrachari the discussions re the wedding had begun so I was delighted to be invited to be involved in the excitement and fun of the preparations - not to mention the great food that went with every planning session. (For those of you who love pork, I promise I will master Kyson’s pork dish before I return and share it with all my culinary experts – a treat worth waiting for and a gesture of appreciation for all the delicacies of yours I have enjoyed over the years, particularly those prepared by Margaret and Brendon, Mon Ami and Dr Paul and Dawnie………….)
For the bride the decisions are much the same here as anywhere else in the world – what style, colour, headwear, shoes, jewellery, make-up etc – although for Lysanna a few minor adjustments because, while she wanted to wear as Tripuran traditional as practical, she also wanted to add her own personal touch. After some ‘this goes with this, goes with this, goes with that’ the striking red and white you see in the photos was the perfect choice.
For the groom, the decision was much easier and Kyson also looked stunning in his traditional white outfit with incredible embroidery. (Boys never really have those ‘does my bum look big in this?’, hair, make-up and jewellery issues anyway – OK, OK for those extraordinarily stylish men in my life I apologise – you know who you are and I know as you read this you are checking your grooming and you all look awesome as always…………). In fact, Kyson went to great lengths to make sure he looked fabulous (and even if he dressed in a Michelin man suit his bum is never going to look big).
The first day began with drinks and nibblies – (rather like happy hour at the Secretariat minus the Nutella jar for donations Waltergator!!!!) - in Lysanna’s and Kyson’s flat (as you know they live in the flat below mine) – so there was great excitement around the building as the celebrations began. Miriam, who was delighted to be Lysanna’s bridesmaid, did an exceptional job with helping the bride get ready. I was also honoured when Lysanna asked me to be her guardian and take on the responsibility of giving her hand in marriage. (Unfortunately, none of her family members were able to travel to Khagrachari for the ceremony, however, the happy couple are having their vows blessed in England in January with Lysanna’s family).
We left the compound in a convoy of four-wheel drives (Burra Para is around one and a half hours drive from here over some fairly challenging terrain – the first photo is the police escort jeep during about attempt number five – (your guys would have made it first run Inspector Neil – especially if either Lesley or ‘Arraine had been driving) to get up one of the hills while the convoy waits behind. It was a sight of wonderment for the people as we drove out of town and even more so for the villagers. They very rarely see foreigners and now one of their sons is about to marry a ‘bideshi’. So there was a very long guard of honour of curious witnesses and an excited welcoming crowd when we arrived (similar to when Her Majesty came to visit us at Government House!!!!!).
While the approximately 1500 guests mingled and waited for the first banquet to be served, the bride and groom were whisked away for some private traditional aspects of the ceremony. It was during these blessings that I, along with Mathura, (our Executive Director) offered Lysanna’s hand - not so clear in the piccie but I was very proud and privileged. (It was also a very colourful scene that you would have luved WW.)
At wedding feasts here in the hills of the Desh, the kitchens are fascinating – rather like an outback muster where everything is cooked outdoors in cauldrons by an incredibly energetic team of chefs. I’m always amazed at how they manage to get all the equipment in an out of such a remote area and set up so efficiently. I’m not so sure about the hygiene conditions, especially as the site was literally around the corner from the pig-sty, however, the feast was delectable (and my tummy survived another Deshi dining experience).
A party with a band, dancing and much merriment followed – these people know how to socialise and the locally produced rice-wine is the source of refreshment to ensure that the celebrations are as loud as possible and continue until the last person is standing. (Again a bit like happy hour at the Secretariat – just joking guys, or maybe like our favourite tavern in Jackson Gwen.) As the night came to an end some of us headed home and others bunked down wherever there was body space. The journey home in the dark was another adventure but the drivers here have amazing skills which we should be teaching some of those people you come into contact with Sir Geoffrey.
The following morning, more of the traditional official procedures were to be conducted down by the Burra Para stream, so I arranged to get a lift back with some of the other guests who would also be returning in time for the celebrations. My transport was late and because it had rained through the night, some of the hills were beyond the climbing capacity of the vehicle. We had to walk some of the distance, which wasn’t a problem except it meant we missed some of the ceremonies. Being delayed had benefits and disappointments. Part of the ceremony includes sacrificing a goat, pig and chickens – all in full view of the guests………..that part of the ceremony was complete by the time I arrived – thus the disappointment (NOT!!!!). But I was disappointed not to see Lysanna and Kyson exchange food, drinks and candles and other elements of their betrothal.
Another feast followed and more merriment until about mid-afternoon it seemed as though even the most stoic of party animals was ready for departure. As we left there were some emotional scenes – the community members and us ‘bideshis’ very aware we had just witnessed the making of history. I’m sure you join me in wishing Lysanna and Kyson a sensational future together.
With regard to work, my program is much the same. I am fortunate to be surrounded by brilliant, happy, sharing, caring people who are teaching me so much – I know, I know, I’m supposed to be teaching them but they are geniuses (I’m just not in the same ballpark, but if they can line-dance when I leave has my posting been successful?). Work on the publication continues (Jordan, I think you should come now and help your dear old Mum with this and then return for Christmas as well). I have attended some very impressive training sessions where I am honoured to be asked to contribute – if we ran training sessions as efficiently and effectively in Aus, the impact on our workforce would be massive. I’m not sure if I shared before that I have also had a couple of fabulous opportunities to teach street kids in Dhaka – I will check so I’m not boring you to snores with repeats (don’t worry Adrian and Fabbie, I get the reports) and if not I have to tell you about that amazing experience.
I have just returned from a week in Kuala Lumpur (another blog) – a very welcome mid-placement break – yep, I’ve been here for six months………..Carol flew in from Aus and generously shared her leave with me. We had a splendid time, no line-dancing but plenty of shopping, sight-seeing (aren’t the shops inside the towers classed as sight-seeing), girlie pampering (thank you for the hairdresser advice Peter – the bush has been tamed!!!), lazing by the pool and eating fabulous food (thank you Christine for the froggie recommendation) – the only disappointment was we didn’t find one coffee up to GOW standard.
I don’t wish to sound like a broken record my luvvies but I am extremely grateful for each and every time you include contact with me in your busy schedules. I’m not convinced I would be able to continue my experience here without your encouragement, awesome wishes, and simply ‘being there’ for me. After returning from KL, I was a tad unsettled, so your sms, emails, letters, calls and care packages have been of paramount importance as I settle back into the next half of the adventure. Special wishes to you all – and take best care.
Abar dEkha hObe
Hugs from the Desh
Marguerite
